How to Stop Trying to Control Everything and Just Let Go – 3 Tips to Surrender the Outcome

Stop Trying to Control Everything and Just Let Go

Anxious & uncertain? Read this article to learn how to Stop Trying to Control Everything and Just Let Go. Find 3 tips to Surrender the outcome.

What is the Need to Control?

Uncertainty is stressful.

You never know what’s around the bend.

Naturally, we want to be ready for all the curveballs life has in store for us.

However, when this need to control all events, circumstances and situations, goes out of control, our life becomes miserable.

Every waking hour is spent predicting, forecasting, preparing and getting anxious for what lies ahead in the future. 

People who have an excessive need for control want everything to be predictable.

They forget to realise that we are just a tiny part of this universe, and there are some aspects of our lives beyond our control. 

How Do We Develop this Excessive Need to Control?

Life is never the same for everyone.

Some of us have more rough patches in our share.

People who have had to face traumatic life events and those who have survived them, often develop highly controlling personalities.

The past experiences where they felt scared, powerless and vulnerable make them hyper vigilant and defensive of any future adverse event.

They are not to blame for such changes in their personality.

However, it is possible to overcome this need for excessive control.

How to Stop Trying to Control Everything and Just Let Go – 3 Tips to Surrender the Outcome

Below are the following ways that can help you let go of your need for control.

3 Ways to learn how to Stop Trying to Control Everything and Just Let Go:

1. Cultivating Acceptance

The unpredictability of life can rob us of our inner peace. We become uncomfortable with any changes which do not favour us.

Our tolerance is usually low when it comes to putting ourselves in a situation that threatens our safety.

However, if we could develop a willingness to accept life as it comes and allow it to happen by trusting in the life process, we can significantly improve our well being.

How do you cultivate acceptance?

One of the first steps to let go of an excessive need for control is to work on getting rid of perfectionism. Setting realistic expectations from ourselves and others can massively reduce our anxiety.

Slow down and relax a bit. We can learn to improve our frustration tolerance and find some calm in the chaos.

Related: How to Let Go of Perfectionism

2. Cultivating Patience

Not all problems come with clear cut solutions.

People with an excessive need for control struggle with patience. They want to figure out every answer to their problems as soon as possible. This constant battle within causes them significant distress. 

One way to cultivate patience is to allow yourself to tolerate the temporary negative emotions, feelings, and thoughts.

It’s important to understand here that some problems take time to resolve.

Sometimes the difficulties go away in weeks; however, other times, it could take years to see a resolution. Giving up the struggle and resistance is the best thing one could do in certain situations. 

Not all problems need our inputs.

Whatever the scale of the problem, most situations do improve eventually on their own. Believing that things will get better someday can make you hopeful and improve your outlook towards life.

3. Exploring Spirituality – Surrender to the Universe

Spirituality means believing in the presence of a Higher Power that is beyond our understanding. Giving your problems to the Higher Power can help you understand the idea that not all things are under your control. You don’t have to be behind the wheels all the time. There is help available in the form of a Higher Power.

Nothing in the universe is random, and behind every hardship, there is an opportunity for learning and growth. Just surrender the outcome.


We can let go of a lot of anxiety if we learn to give up our need to control. Accepting life as it comes and trusting its process can help us regain inner peace. Cultivating patience, exploring spirituality and believing in the idea that not everything in life is under our control can free us from a lot of emotional and mental distress. Using the aforementioned tips you can learn how to stop trying to control everything and just let go, and surrender the outcome.

Recommended Articles