Pallavi Gupta Feelings of worthlessness can be a symptom of depression and mental illness. Read this article to learn how to stop feeling insignificant and be at ease with yourself.
A lot of us feel inadequate from time to time. But if the feeling is persistent, it could become absolutely debilitating. Worthlessness is a universal feeling and it does pop up when things don’t go your way.
Why do I Feel Insignificant and Worthless?
Worthlessness is a mixed bag of several feelings and negative thoughts.
If you are feeling worthless, chances are you are feeling lonely too.
Loneliness is a state of mind that results when you tell yourself that you are unloved and probably unwanted.
Maybe you are finding it difficult to feel close to people around you and do not find anything common with them.
Then, if you are feeling worthless, it’s not uncommon to feel insignificant, inadequate, or ineffective.
You might feel that you are just wasting away your life.
Time is running around and you can’t do anything about it. It might lead you to believe that you are a laggard and others have left you and gone too far.
Feeling worthless can make you feel like a failure. It keeps you overwhelmed. There is no motivation to change your state. Still, you feel overwhelmed and spend your day struggling with this feeling to go away. At the end of the day, nothing changes. You feel unrewarded and confused.
Even a slight criticism can push you down the spiral of feeling worthless and can lead to poor mental health conditions.
Needs of A Person Who is Feeling Insignificant and Worthless
Before we come to ways to stop feeling worthless, it’s crucial to understand the needs of a person who is feeling worthless.
Clarity in Life
We all are looking for ways to improve our present situation.
When we ignore real problems of our life and procrastinate tackling them head-on, we continue to increase the level of our problems.
People who feel worthless are seeking clarity and purpose in life.
Close Relations
The loneliness could be crippling. Feeling misunderstood and neglected by our loved ones and family members can trigger acute feelings of worthlessness.
Something to Do
They are looking for something they can manage and can keep themselves engaged happily. Career confusion, lack of purpose and structure in life can make you feel you are no more in control of your life. The perception of loss of control can make you doubt your worthiness and your impact on the world.
Appreciation
They want to know that their efforts are being recognised and acknowledged by those who matter to them.
How to Stop Feeling Insignificant and Worthless
If you are feeling worthless and want to stop feeling that way, we have rounded up for you some ways that can help you with your feelings of worthlessness.
Below are 7 things to do when you feel worthless and insignificant:
1. Do Not Alienate Yourself
It’s easier to convince yourself that you have nothing in common with people around you.
That could not be any further from the truth.
Let’s see how.
Make a list of daily activities that you do and think are a good use of your time.
Choose a couple of activities and find someone with whom you can do those activities.
Tada! That’s so easy.
You might feel that you are different and other people don’t get you. But if you look close enough you might find many commonalities. Focussing on those mutual interests are a great way to socialise with others.
Read: How to Feel Less Lonely
2. Don’t Discount Your Positives
No human being can be worthless.
However, if you are feeling worthless, one of the causes could be your negative self-talk and attitude towards yourself.
Not giving yourself credit, where it is due, could make you feel like an absolutely zero person.
A lot of times, we are our own biggest critics.
For example, if you are a stay at home wife or a mom, it’s so easy to ignore all the things you do for your children, husband and home.
All your contributions are neglected and unacknowledged by you because you think unless you are bringing home money, you have no worth.
Continuing to focus only on your negatives will only make you feel worthless, insignificant and useless.
Then, it won’t be difficult to convince yourself that you have failed in your life.
Ask yourself, is that true? It is not. You have just created a mental illusion by focussing on your inadequacies.
You are not worthless, it’s your way of thinking that has gone haywire and needs some changes.
Focus on your successes, your contributions to the betterment of your life and to that of people around you. It doesn’t matter how small it is.
Tell yourself, you are good enough and let go of any urge to criticise yourself.
Developing a little self-compassion will help you remove all the bitterness from your life and feel your true worth.
Appreciate yourself.
No, it’s not blowing your own trumpet! You need to take time out and focus on your impact on others or things, even if it is a minor one. Self-endorse yourself.
Related: My Husband Makes Me Feel Worthless
3. Get Rid of Perfectionism to Stop Feeling Insignificant
Our unrealistic expectations from ourselves is a surefire way to pave the way to failure.
We are taught to aim for stars. Setting lower standards would make us mediocre and a second rate person.
The problem with sticking to perfectionism is that it makes your life full of anxious and depressive moments.
You fear without your perfectionism, you won’t perform effectively or may not perform at all.
The excessive drive for perfection and greatness can make you extremely sensitive to rejection.
However, if you want a sustainable feeling of worthiness, lowering your standards would bring calm and surprisingly more days of productivity.
Remind yourself that your life won’t be ruined every time you perform less than perfect.
A life rich in accomplishments but devoid of sustainable joy doesn’t sound that lucrative, after all.
Read: How to Let Go Perfectionism
4. Get a Job You can Manage Well
All of us need something to do and we can derive a lot of satisfaction if we do it well.
If you find yourself in a job that doesn’t suit your personality or doesn’t offer ample opportunities to use your talents, intelligence and skills, you would continue to struggle with it.
When it comes to choosing a fulfilling job, you can make better decisions by being more self-aware.
Learn more about your personality, and identify your strengths so that you can take a job that you can manage well.
Job doesn’t have to be a paid one if you aren’t looking for that.
Any goal that requires your involvement, engagement, and that has the potential to improve your life or that of others, can help with your feelings of worthlessness.
Read: What to Do If You Are Confused About Your Career?
5. Explore Various Sources of Pleasure and Satisfaction
Giving your 100% to just one activity can trigger a feeling of worthlessness when you fail at it.
Have you ever wondered why some people start to feel so worthless and lonely after their work retirement?
What changes?
The reason is that people who continue to live their life believing that all their worth comes from their work, all of a sudden, find themselves in a situation where they have nothing to accomplish anymore. It comes as a shock to them and it’s not uncommon to hear about people falling into depression after retirement.
6. Know Achievemnet is Not Equal to Worth
If you have an irrational belief that your achievements and accomplishments decide your worth, you would cause yourself a lot of suffering.
Not only is this irrational belief self-defeating but it is also highly inaccurate.
Every time others achieve more than you, it would mean to you that you are a failure.
Your worth is not proportional to what you have accomplished in your life.
Sure, this irrational belief may help you improve yourself, push you to attain more challenges, or give feelings of superiority and smugness in the short term.
However, your emotional life will suffer a lot.
You would find yourself in eternal competition with others. The preoccupation with being better than others can trigger feelings of jealousy, anxiety and inferiority. It is a surefire recipe to suck the joy out of your relationships and, unfortunately, you may end up feeling very lonely.
7. Strive for Independence
Trying to be lesser dependant on others for our regular activities and learning how to do it on your own, could give a lot of self-confidence. This could significantly reduce your feeling of worthlessness.
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