Pallavi Gupta Without a partner, sexual urges can be frustrating. Read this article to learn how to try not to get horny when you are single.
Sexual feelings and desires are part of human life, and it’s normal to think about sex. And it’s great as long as we have a compatible and committed partner.
However, in the absence of a sexual partner, these sexual urges can create negative emotions if you let them overpower you.
It could be detrimental to your mental and physical health if you let your sexual desires consume you at the expense of your work, sleep or relationships.
Thus, it’s imperative to understand how women experience sexuality and how we can manage it intelligently without feeling shame, guilt, embarrassment or putting ourselves into any distressing situation.
How does A Female Body Experience Sexuality?
A healthy female with a 28 days menstrual cycle finds herself desiring sex the most in the first half of the cycle, particularly in the second week.
Most of the sexual thoughts, feelings and urges rev up in this week.
Women generally experience low sex drive in the second half of the cycle. So, it’s comparatively easier to distract yourself from sexual thoughts and fight these urges during the last two weeks of your cycle.
Hormones in Action
The hormones estrogen and testosterone are responsible for sexual drives and desire in women.
It’s the estrogen that makes you wet when you are exposed to a sexually stirring stimulus.
Testosterone controls your drive.
You are more prone to seek sexual gratification when your testosterone is high. That usually happens around days 12 and 14 of your 28 days menstrual cycle.
It is the time when you find yourself getting frisky, getting attracted to pornographic content or erotica and feeling motivated to indulge in masturbation.
Read: Menstrual Cycle is Key to Your Peace
Increasing Pornography Consumption Among Women
*Be aware that watching pornographic content online is illegal in some countries and may attract legal consequences.
Data on porn consumption by women shows that they are seeking sexual gratification too at par with men.
Experts say it is okay as long as it is done in moderation and in the privacy of your home.
However, problems arise when you begin to do things excessively.
Some of the harmful effects of watching porn or masturbating compulsively are as follows.
- You may get addicted to porn.
- You may set unrealistic expectations for your sexual partner, which is a surefire way to lead a sexually dissatisfied life.
- You may experience guilt and shame, which could be devastating to your mental health.
- You may feel more lonely.
If you get tempted to watch porn and you are trying to stop being horny, keeping the drawbacks of porn will help you with your goal.
Read: How to Feel Less Lonely
How Much of Porn Viewing is Normal?
Our generation has become more open to and accepting of watching porn.
The trouble with this thinking is that normalising porn can disregard some of the harmful effects it causes.
It’s a good idea to strike a balance, though.
Choosing not to view it entirely could be challenging, especially when you can access it so easily in the digital world.
The goal is to view it only as much that it does not cause any negative emotions and simultaneously can help relieve some of the sexual tension safely.
Experts say that watching porn for 4 hours a week, spread throughout the week, is a reasonable limit.
Many people experience guilt and decide to quit it altogether, only to restart watching it. This kind of approach only feeds more shame.
You need to agree with your mind and heart if you want to lead a conflict-free life.
Choosing to walk on a moderate path is always an option.
A balanced life where you acknowledge your natural urges without having them overpower you is much better than a life of restrain.
Ways to Control Your Sexual Urge When Single and Try Not to Get Horny
Maybe you haven’t found your partner yet, or have just broken up with your lover.
Maybe you aren’t comfortable with one night stands or hook-ups because of your values and beliefs.
When we don’t have a sexual partner, it could be frustrating to deal with our sexual temptations and feelings.
Acknowledging these feelings and engaging with them so that it doesn’t attract any trouble in our lives is imperative to learn.
Our goal is to keep ourselves safe, happy, guilt-free and motivated enough to seek a sexual partner for ourselves who can sustainably fulfil us.
If you don’t want to indulge in casual sex, hook-ups or maybe you want to control your compulsive feeling for watching porn or masturbation, what options do you have?
Here are some of the ways how to control sexual urges and engage with them responsibly. Tips to try not to get horny:
1. Know Your Triggers for Sexual Urges
Self-awareness is the key to lead a healthy life.
Give yourself some time to recognise what makes you feel horny and how you get motivated to seek sexual gratification.
Observe your environment, time of the day, or mood.
Maybe you were bored and had nothing to do.
Or perhaps you were watching a movie, and a lovemaking scene aroused you.
If you think you don’t want to spend your time watching porn or masturbating, it’s a good idea to identify the triggers and take steps to stop them. For instance, you can:
- Go out and meet your friends.
- Keep Yourself busy
- Avoid viewing Porn; maybe install a web browser extension or put parental controls.
- Say no to drugs and alcohol as these can make you lose your inhibition and make you more prone to indulging in behaviours that you might regret later.
2. Take Advantage of Your Peak Sexual Energy
There will be days in the first and second week of your menstrual cycle when you want to seek sexual gratification. The urges are usually stronger in these weeks.
That said, it’s a good idea to learn how you can leverage these intense emotions into other areas of your life.
More testosterone in the second week also means you have more feelings of competitiveness.
Why not use these competitive feelings in your work or leisure life?
Make plans to go out and give yourself more opportunities to be with more people.
A lot of people use this intense energy into making their lives more thrilling, physical and creative.
3. Meditation Can Help You With How to Stop being Horny.
Meditation can improve many areas of your life.
It can help you learn to observe your thoughts without getting affected by them negatively.
Think of that.
How powerful could it be!
It could transform your life if you manage to be at peace with all your intrusive, malicious, harmful thoughts and let them be.
Learning to observe your thoughts without getting judgmental about yourself could release a lot of stress which negative thoughts can cause. Meditation Can Help You Manage Your Sexual Thoughts
Conclusion- How to Try Not to Get Horny
Sexual feelings are a normal part of human lives.
However, in the absence of a committed or compatible sexual partner, it could become a source of chronic stress and frustration.
Understanding how our bodies work, women can benefit significantly if they learn how to manage their sexual feelings.
Knowing their sexual triggers and the menstrual cycle could make them more aware of how their bodies experience sexuality.
Indulging in porn and masturbation in moderation, saying no to alcohol and drugs, and managing their leisure time responsibly could help ease their sexual tension.
With a happy and healthy approach to their sexual life, women can feel more motivated to find a committed and compatible sexual partner.
Extra Reading: Women with High Sexual Drive
