What does Cheating Say About A Person? 9 Revelations

what does cheating say about a person

Too many questions in your mind after being cheated on? Read this article to learn 9 things a cheating person reveals about himself when he chooses the path of infidelity and betrayal.

What does Cheating Indicate About A Person

An act of cheating may reveal a lot about your partner who cheats on you.  Here are 9 things cheating says about a person:

1. Intimacy Issues

Each of us has a different attachment style. Some people are secure, while others may have an anxious or avoidant attachment style.

A person who cheats may have intimacy issues. Someone with an avoidant attachment style may fear intimacy and as a result, may want to distant themselves from you when you get close to them. So, cheating is an act of distancing themselves from you.

Other times, the lack of intimacy from your end may trigger them to cheat on you. If they don’t feel connected to you emotionally, they would seek that connection outside of the relationship.

2. Seeking Instant Gratification

The aim of any relationship is security, stability, and pleasure. 

A good romantic relationship can provide you with warmth and sexual pleasure. However, if your partner doesn’t have enough self-control, he might give in to any chances of pleasure. It doesn’t matter for him whether that pleasure comes from you or someone else.

A person who cheats might do it to gratify himself instantly without thinking about the long term repercussions of his actions. Their lack of self-control and inability to think through clearly might jeopardise your relationship with them.

Sadly, there is not much you can do if your partner has self-control issues.

3. Being Bored and Need for Variety

Boredom in relationships is a fertile ground for infidelity. If your partner lacks excitement and engagement in life, he lets his mind wander everywhere. Anything or anyone that captures his attention becomes the source of joy for him. 

Whether your partner is bored in the relationship with you or life in general, he might engage with other people romantically or sexually, just to feel better.

Often, long term relationships can become monotonous and routine. If the partners involved in the relationship don’t find ways to meet their need for variety together, one of them would try to fulfil on his own.

4. Circumstances

Life is ever-changing and sometimes we find ourselves in such circumstances that lead one thing to another.

Circumstances like a recent miscarriage, death of a parent or a loved one, job loss are some events that may often trigger one partner to cheat.

Then, more casual situations like getting drunk with a colleague of the opposite sex may lead your lover or spouse to cheat on you.

5. High Sexual Desire

A difference in the libido of the partners can leave one of them feeling dissatisfied and unfulfilled. 

If your partner doesn’t feel satisfied with you sexually, he might get frustrated. This frustration can make him cheat on you.

So, is the relationship of partners with different libido doomed?

No. It’s not if you learn to find ways to satisfy them.

Partners who put in the effort to resolve the issues may guard their relationship from any chances of infidelity.

Negotiating the frequency of sex, scheduling sex dates, being more intimate physically such as cuddles and hugs, can help you solve issues of sexual desire differences.

6. Neglect

Romantic relationships, like any other relationship, thrive on spending ample time together with your partner.

If your partner feels lonely or neglected in the relationship, there are high chances, he might take steps to get rid of loneliness and seek a sense of belongingness from others.

People cheat out of loneliness or neglect by their partners.

Spending quality time with your partner, by really taking interest in the day to day activities, and by communicating and listening to each other’s feelings, you can make each other feel cared for and valued.

7. Low Commitment

Strong relationships are a result of commitment and trust between the partners.

If a person does not feel ready for a long term relationship or lacks commitment towards their partner, they might cheat on them.

People get into relationships for all the reasons. Some for emotional and sexual release, while others for long term love and stability.

It’s easier for your partner to cheat on you if he is not ready to give his full commitment to the relationship.

8. Anger

Sometimes, infidelity is an act of retribution. 

Relationships that lack communication could result in resentment and anger.

If your lover or spouse is hurt by you, they might feel tempted to cheat on you just out of revenge.

Opening channels of communication is one of the ways to protect your relationship from becoming a battlefield of revenge-seeking and accumulated resentment.

If your partner is not assertive, he might not be able to express his needs clearly. However, by putting in some effort to be more thoughtful of their needs, and by clearing the air in case of disagreements, misunderstanding, or apologising for your mistakes, you can help them release their anger.

9. Low Self Esteem

Self-esteem issues can bring damage to your relationship in more than one way. People who have low self-esteem often look for external validation and attention to feel good. If your partner suffers from low self-esteem, he might not feel content with your attention only.

A person who is not confident in his ability, strengths, looks or sexual performance would need others to make him feel good about himself. 

If your partner has self-esteem issues, it would be a good idea to help them work on improving them. 

Related: How to Improve Your Self-esteem


Cheating in romantic relationships can be extremely painful. It might leave the one who was cheated on with many questions about themselves and their ex. Cheating says a lot about the person who cheats. From having low self-esteem, intimacy issues, holding grudges and anger to feeling neglected, unhappy and bored, a person may cheat because of any reason.

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