How to Stay Focused During Sex

how to stay focused during sex

Nothing could be more annoying than finding your mind wandering while having sex. There could be many reasons why you can’t stay in the present moment during sex. Thinking about work, performance, anxiety, and body image issues are the major causes why you find it hard to focus on sex.

What should be a pleasurable time full of intimacy, love, and an ultimate act of union becomes a chore when you can no longer pay attention to your partner. Let’s know how to stay focused during sex and improve sex life.

Give a Closure to Your Day

Getting wrapped up in thoughts of work during sex means that you haven’t shut down entirely from your work. To ensure that your work doesn’t invade your mind during private moments, you must give proper closure to the day at work.

One tip to reduce your distractibility during sex is to review the progress you made during the day before leaving your office or work desk. Write the to-do points for the next day with action points. That will signal your mind some respite and time to take a break for a while; because now it knows that it has time the next day to continue from where you left.

Also Read: How Not to Lose Focus

Don’t Worry About Your Performance

Performance anxiety among men can sap all the fun out from the sex. Thoughts about whether their partner is enjoying or they can stay long enough may trigger pre-ejaculation or trouble getting a full erection or losing one.

Women, by the same token, may worry about how they look, their body shape and size. This can make staying in the moment difficult and as a result, they struggle to reach an orgasm.

Both these problems require open communication between the partners.

Men and women can resolve these issues by sharing their insecurities with their partners, and being comfortable with them.

Related: How to Stop Trying to Control Everything and Just Let Go


Learning to meditate may help significantly in grappling with intrusive thoughts too. When you learn to meditate, you learn to become non-judgmental of your thoughts. Then such thoughts lose any hold on your mind, and even if you find yourself drifting off for a while, meditation practice can easily bring you back to the pleasures of sex.

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