Pallavi Gupta Are you feeling lonely and unhappy in your marriage? Read this article to learn what you can do if your husband makes you feel worthless.
Trouble in Paradise
They say marriages are made in heaven.
However, it’s not uncommon to see a spouse suffering in this sacred institution.
When your husband fails to provide you with companionship, encouragement and support that you as a wife deserve, life can get miserable.
Sharing this life with a partner who has become emotionally and verbally abusive to you can make you feel as if you don’t matter. Nothing you do seems right to him. The constant belittling by him and his expectation from you to act perfectly else you are useless can suck the joy out of living.
Related: How to Stop Feeling Worthless
Ways How Your Husband Makes You Feel Worthless
Here are 9 ways how your spouse is making you feel worthless through his behaviour and words:
1. Limits All the Communication
He makes sure that the communication with you has reached a dead end. Every time you try to talk, he ignores you completely. It can make you feel as if you don’t even exist for him.
2. Gaslights you
When you try to communicate your concerns to him, he denies all the charges and, in turn, accuses you of making things up.
This act of gaslighting can make you feel unsure about your feelings and cognitive process.
3. Doesn’t Spend Quality Time With You
When your husband doesn’t show his willingness to spend some quality time together, you may feel you are not valued.
If all he does after coming home from work is watching TV and spending time on the phone, you may start to feel that he doesn’t find you worthy of his attention.
This neglect from your husband can trigger feelings of worthlessness in you.
4. Asks You to Leave His House
All couples fight, once in a while. They have disagreements, misunderstandings and then they do patch up.
However, if your husband asks you to pack your bags and leave the house every time there is a conflict at home, you may feel unsafe and alone in your relationship.
5. Reminds You That You Don’t Earn
Every time there is a discussion around money and household chores, if your husband reminds you that you don’t bring home money, you may start to feel that all your housework is worth nothing.
Not earning money, and being discounted for all your efforts at home, can make you feel useless and worthless.
6. Doesn’t Help You With Housework
Many men feel that if they are working outside of the home, they don’t need to help their wives with housework.
Leaving dirty socks, coffee cups and dishes around the house, not helping with chores, and letting it pile on wives, can make a wife feel frustrated and full of resentment against her husband.
7. Comments Harshly on Your Physical Appearance
A husband can make you feel worthless if he calls you fat, skinny, ugly or if he compares you with other women.
The act of pointing out your physical weaknesses can make you feel unattractive and it is enough to make you lose your self-esteem.
8. Says He is Embarrassed by You
If your spouse openly says that he feels ashamed being with you, it can make you feel rejected and hurt.
When he refuses to go out with you or doesn’t introduce you to his friends and colleagues, it can make you feel unworthy.
9. Makes You Grovel For Money
When only a husband is earning money, he might develop a tendency to dictate terms to the wife if she is not earning.
In such a household, the wife would have to ask her husband for money every time she needs it. This can make the wife feel insignificant and worthless.
What to Do When Your Husband Makes You Feel Worthless
When you are not appreciated for what you do, or feel taken for granted, it is easy to believe that you are worthless. If have you been feeling down, low and lonely, it is time to step back, reflect and then take actions.
Below are 9 things to do when your husband makes you feel worthless:
1. Talk to Your Husband
Most of the times men don’t have a clue that their actions are hurting their spouses.
One of the first steps to stop feeling worthless by your husband is to make him aware of your feelings.
Set aside a time to talk to him and share your feelings of how things he says and does are affecting your emotional health. A conversation without blaming him and stating the things assertively can help him understand the pain he is causing you.
2. Show Him What You Do For The House
Sometimes, husbands are unable to see how much effort a wife puts in to run the household smoothly. Whether it’s doing chores, cooking or taking care of the children, show him everything.
Make a list of all the activities on a sheet of paper, and paste it somewhere he can see. You can do this monthly. Check off all the done activities.
This will keep your husband aware of all the regular work you do at home and outside.
3. Find A Job You Can Handle Well
Look for part-time jobs if you haven’t been working outside of home. Doing something that earns you some money can help you feel secure.
4. Strengthen Your Social Support
Feelings of worthlessness can make you lonely.
Make a list of all your interests. Go out and find venues to make new friends.
Reach out to your family members and confide in them if it is getting too much for you to bear the behaviour of your husband.
5. Learn Personal Finance
If you are a stay at home wife or mother, you can gain some confidence by increasing your awareness in personal finance.
Start by saving up some money each month. Use online resources to learn basics of investment.
6. Explore Your Hobbies
Life can become extremely stressful when you are unhappy with your marital life.
You need some outlets where you can explore some moments of distraction from the discord at home. Exploring hobbies and pursuing them can help you enjoy some moments of peace and pleasure.
7. Do Things On Your Own
A lot of women depend on their husbands for outside work. Make it a point to learn and doing all the activities that concern your daily living.
8. Go for Marriage Counselling
If your marriage has become dysfunctional and you are finding it difficult to fix it on your own, taking help from a professional marriage counsellor can help you salvage your marriage.
9. Take Legal Actions
When nothing you do changes his abusive behaviour, your last resort is to seek legal actions. Think through all the consequences of a separation or divorce, and start preparing for it before actually pursuing it. Finally, take the tough call.
Conclusion
If the actions and words of your spouse have been making you emotionally drained and making you feel like you are losing your sanity, you need help. Using the aforementioned tips in the article, you can learn what to do when your husband makes you feel worthless and find the way out.
